Tuesday, May 26, 2009
When is it my turn?
Don't understand,
No, you don't.
Wasn't "questioning you like that".
I thought you'd be able to tell
the pain in asking you.
I thought you'd be able to decipher
the meaning between words.
I want to know
I know I have faults
& I've been learning
I want to know
He's back so why aren't I?
Is what I did greater and bigger,
worse than his?
I asked you,
so that you could try to understand.
You were being literal.
I wasn't.
I guess that made all the difference.
When is it my turn to go back?
When is it my turn to lead?
I know I sounded rude and mean,
but the tone I sounded to myself was totally different,
it's via SMS, you see.
It's not about position; I'll repeat again.
Why does everyone think I'm wanting position.
If I wanted position,
I would have made things seem so perfect on the outside,
so I'll rise up faster.
But I'm not going for position.
I just want to lead again.
You still don't understand, I know.
Argh. Argh. Argh. Is it so hard to decipher my coded words and meanings?
P/S I really really want to go back to worship. I've always wanted to lead people in worship. He's back so why am I not? I thought you'd understand; once more I'm wrong, and all you've said before, were just plain words- nothing more.
Love,
Zoie Esther
